Illogical, Irrational, Intrigue
by nazo no meikyuu
Summary: LxLight. What is the source of it, their love? The answer was simple really. Intrigue. But when blurred boundaries are pushed and evil plans are shattered, how can they possibly continue? YAOI, rated M for future content.
1. Chapter 1: Unease

Illogical, Irrational, Intrigue: A Death Note Fanfiction

**(A/N So here it is, the very first chapter of **_**Illogical, Irrational, Intrigue**_**. I got to thinking one day about how deeply L and Light think in the series, and I got inspiration to write a story about how I interpreted the way their characters felt about developments in the plot and about their relationship with each other. It seemed like a decent idea for a fic and here we are! **

**This is an LxLight pairing story, but at the moment, I'm not too sure about how quickly their relationship will develop. But don't worry dear readers, there WILL BE relationship! And yes that means yaoi! But enough drabble, I really would love for you to read my (first ever) fanfiction and enjoy it)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

Chapter 1: Unease

_His footsteps echoed through the corridor. His deliberate steps leading him closer and closer to the one who would seek to expose him. The sounds of the door as it swung open announced his arrival, and L could do nought but sit and stare at the monitor. His unwavering gaze did not shift from its position, but he was alert. Oh yes, his entire attention was focused on the one standing behind him, the one whom he _knew___was the mass murderer Kira – Yagami Light._

_Yet L could do nothing until he found proof, some solid evidence that would support his own assurance that this… boy… was the deadliest killer in existence. _

_So he could do nothing as aforementioned killer opened his mouth and uttered the words that L knew were coming. "Ryuuzaki, I may be Kira"._

L opened his eyes with a jolt, his limbs stiff from being in the same crouched position for an extended period of time. He slowly levered himself out of the chair, and walked over to the trolley of sweet foods Watari must have brought in whilst he was asleep.

_Asleep. _The very action was unfamiliar to L, as he did not partake in slumber often, preferring to use his time finding leads on Kira. Which admittedly hadn't been going too well until Light had made his move late last night.

Just the errant thought of Light made L wake up fully. The boy really was intriguing after all.

He was a few years younger than L himself, yet his intelligence was on par with his. L reflected on the superb way Light had manipulated the situation so that he would be imprisoned. He had appealed to the task forces' very emotions and they had played right into his hands.

L had seen through it though. He _knew _that Light desired to be watched, what he didn't know was _why._ Did he hope to prove his innocence by continuing to kill criminals even under L's watchful eye? Did he really think that a thing like that could clear his name, even though L had already deduced that Kira could control the time of death?

L did not know, could not unravel Light's true intentions, and this more than anything made him feel uneasy. He turned back to the monitor and nearly grimaced at the sight of Light sitting so erect on the bed. He would never admit it, but he regretted that Light had to be locked away like this. He regretted the fact that such and intelligent boy's talents had to wasted. More than that, he regretted that this enigma had been taken over by power; such a beautiful mind had been corrupted and tainted. It made L angry, even though the emotion did not show on the detectives face. He _would_ catch Kira. If only he could save Light in the process.

…

After a few days of confinement, Light did not seem much worse for wear. Oh, of course his normally perfect hair was mussed and thin black clothes were wrinkled, but his demeanour had hardly changed. It was as though the thought that he may be Kira did not affect him in the slightest. If anything, the teenager looked bored, slightly weary, as though he was waiting for something.

That disturbed L. After all, what could he possibly be waiting for under these severe conditions? He remembered when Light offered himself to be kept under watch to 'fight the fear that Kira was inside him'.

"_I may be Kira". L had immediately retreated into his mind, trying to uncover what Light had planned. He had no doubt that this was an act, that Light was really saying that he was Kira. Soichiro's face had contorted into an expression of horror as he ran to his son and violently shook his shoulders. _

"_What are you saying? Light, speak to me!" Soichiro's spluttered and yelled in the face of his immobile son. _

"_Father, please" Light had said quietly, "Please" His voice had rung with such remorse that L very nearly considered the boy truly regretted his actions. L could not help but marvel, the boy was truly a masterful actor._

_His father backed off, and L could almost see the satisfaction in the teenager's eyes. It was all going to plan. _

_As Light explained how every clue they had pointed to him being Kira, L could see the taskforce were buying it. Light was sucking them in with his scripted lies, using his twisted words to con them into trusting him. He played on their pity as he declared himself scared of what he could be, saying he was losing himself and he wasn't sure of anything anymore._

_Even though L had come to expect it by now, he could not help but be astonished by how well Light was wording his misconceptions, how easily he was able to manipulate these grown men with his words. This boy was truly a genius. _

_L didn't like the way this was going, but he knew he had no choice. He was going to imprison Yagami Light, if only he could shake the feeling that doing so would only further his plans. _

_The click of the handcuffs around Light's slender wrists jerked L out of his reverie._

"_I'm counting on you Aizawa" he said stoically to the man leading the mass murderer to prison._

"… _Yes" he replied, uncertainty colouring his voice._

_L did not turn around, but as the sounds of Light being led away he felt apprehension. He just couldn't stop thinking that _he _was playing into Kira's hands, just as much as the other members of the task force had. The doors shut behind them with a sense of finality, and L knew that there was no going back from this point onward._

…

So now, as L sat watching Light endure his captivity he was still as uneasy as he had been that crucial day when Kira had been put behind bars. Suddenly, as if knowing L's very thought, Light asked a question, the first thing he had said since his imprisonment.

"Ryuuzaki, have there been any more deaths? Have any criminals been identified that are likely to have been targeted by Kira? Have any of them been killed?"

_But you know the answer to that, don't you Kira?_ Still, L did not hesitate to answer Light' question.

"As a matter of fact, many new criminals have been identified, yet none of them have been killed since you were detained".

"Is that so?" Light could not hide the smirk of satisfaction on his face from L. "Then it is only a matter of time until I am convicted of being Kira".

As L listened to Light speak he realised that his original calculations were not working in accordance to the current situation.

_At this rate, Light will be convicted of being Kira, there is no doubt about it. The only question left to answer will be if Light was aware of being Kira or not._

This sounded like an excuse to L. A poorly planned, weak excuse. This was not like Yagami Light at all. No… it was not like Kira to act in this manner.

…

L hated to admit the fact that he was fascinated by the boy lying before him. He wanted to study him, observe his behaviour without the necessity of a cage. After a week of confinement, L could see a change about Light. It was almost as if he was done waiting. As if he was ready to continue with his plan.

Feeling slightly apprehensive, L depressed the switch that allowed communication to Light in his cell.

"It's only been a week Light, yet you look exhausted. How are you faring?"

There was a slight pause, and suddenly, L felt that in this moment something momentous would occur. It was if all his hard work had come down to this moment. Everything depended on Light's answer. This was what he had been waiting for – and he didn't even know why he was so sure of it.

"Yeah" Light breathed "Even I can't say I look too good at the moment. But such meaningless pride…" Again he paused, and it seemed to L that he had imbued all the finality and triumph into what he said next.

"I'll discard it!"

L was very nearly dumbstruck. That was it? His words had sounded so intense, so passionate, that L had been 95% sure something vitally important would have happened.

But there was nothing. Light continued to start stonily ahead of himself, and L continued to stare down at the boy, unable to conclude why nothing had happened.

He recalled his words: _I'll discard it!_ No, that couldn't be all he intended. Light had spoken with more resolve and feeling then then he had for the last week. It could not be a coincidence. Again, L looked into Light's eyes that were so focused and so determined. _What is it? What does he hope too…?_

L cut himself off as he gazed in muted horror at Light's eyes.

They had changed.

No longer were they narrowed in suspicion and distrust. No longer were they filled with the look that they had killed and that they felt power for it. No longer did those sepia points of light give him the sense he had to watch his step and calculate his every move.

L's own obsidian eyes widened as they gazed into Light's unwitting ones.

What he saw there now was confusion. He saw a scared teenager who did not know why he was there. He saw desperation and a need to be rescued. Light looked helpless, and it surprised L so much that he found himself unable to contemplate why such a momentous change had occurred. He could only crouch and stare at him, mesmerized by Light's eyes.

This boy in front of him was not Kira. He was Yagami Light.

So… where had Kira gone?

L felt something shift inside him when he looked at the desperate teen. He felt his heart constrict at the mere sight of those panicked eyes.

He was incredulous. He could not reason, he could not think. In that moment he was the most vulnerable he had been in his entire life.

_Just what on Earth has happened to Light?_

_And what on Earth has happened to me?_

**(A/N: So yeah, we've got a bit of a fluffy opening chapter but things should develop quickly from here on in! **

**How will Light react to L's surprising judgement? Is it possible that Light will actually ask L for help? How will L handle his foreign feelings toward his suspect? Is it possible that their feelings towards one another are more than that of just colleagues? And when plans go horribly astray, how will Light cope with the loss of one whom he loves? **

**I know, but I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please take time to review. It is my bread and butter as a writer and inspires me to continue. Comment on what you thought of this chapter, where you think the story is going and where you would like to see it go. I read and cherish every one of your reviews. Thanks so much!**

**xox**

**nazonomeikyuu )**


	2. Chapter 2: Shock

Illogical, Irrational, Intrigue: A Death Note Fanfiction

**(A/N Second chapter yay! I've got a bit of an idea about where this is going so hopefully it won't take too long to write and upload! Thank you to the lovely **ACreditToDementia **and **cherrymelodie **for reviewing the first chapter! Hopefully I get some more so I can thank you all properly for reading my fic! I hope you enjoy this chapter, hopefully it surprises you a bit. Also this one is longer than the first chapter – hopefully it lives up to your expectations! ^^ Enjoy!)**

**Warnings: Pretty intense grief and loss. Get the Kleenex out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. I do not own Kleenex.**

Chapter 2: Shock

He was bored. So unbelievably bored. The minutes dragged past in a blank expanse of nothingness and he knew that he could not take much more of this self-inflicted torture.

How could he possibly stay here when he longed to kill? His very being had come to depend on judging criminals that would dare disturb his utopia. But even now, every part of his considerable willpower urged him to tolerate the inactivity for as long as necessary, and he was willing to do so.

But he needed it to end soon. So it was with huge relief and triumph that he came to realise it was time. Finally time to put his critical plan into its second stage of action.

He was ready to release his ownership of the Death Note and bring L to his death.

All that was left to do was wait for the right opportunity…

…

"It's only been a week Light-kun, yet you look exhausted. How are you faring?" L's voice resonated through the room, and Light could hardly keep the relief of his face.

Yes, this would do. He tried to keep his voice weary sounding, but he just couldn't help it. He was triumphant, this was his victory. He spoke the words that would result in his freedom.

"I'll discard it!"

His words rang through the air, and Light could hear Kira in them, lending his power and might to transform his simple words into a declaration of victory. But no, that was stupid, Light _was_ Kira.

He stared coldly ahead of him, counting the bars of the cell as he waited for whatever would happen next.

He was very aware of Ryuk straightening up. The gothic figure paused, looking down at him. Light so very badly wanted to yell at the shinigami to get a move on, but of course he did not.

Finally, Ryuk turned around and sauntered out of the room, tossing a careless farewell over his shoulder as he walked straight through the wall.

Light smirked internally. He was justice! He was victorious! He was…

…_!_

It was if his memories were being drained from his very mind, sucking at his very essence, turning him into something he wasn't. He had absolutely no control over it, and during his last moment of being Kira, Light felt helpless for the first time.

It was scary.

It wasn't painful, not at all, but he was rather uncomfortable. He noted that he was sitting in a crouching position that surely couldn't be good for his back.

As he slowly raised his head he looked at the camera that was watching him. That camera was the last thing he saw with the crimson eyes of a murderer.

As he looked at the shiny lens he knew that someone on the other side was watching. He knew it was L.

His eyes widened drastically. Who was he? He was… _Yagami Light._

He couldn't fathom why this singular fact meant such a great deal to him, but he clung to it like a lifeline.

Light looked right then left, trying desperately to ascertain his location. He was bound and dressed in thin black material that was somewhat worn and weary looking. He looked at the bars of the cell and back up at that ever present camera, filled with complete and utter desperation.

At the moment it didn't matter that he was supposed to be the proud, intelligent genius who helped his father solve criminal cases. It didn't matter that he _never _asked for help. It didn't matter that his pride was making a vain effort to stop him from begging. None of it mattered.

Light was terrified. For the very first time in his life he was feeling raw, genuine emotion and that fact alone was frightening enough.

He needed to get out of this cage. He needed to be free. Now.

"Ryuuzaki, you need to let me out of here!"

There was a slight pause before the answer Light knew was coming buzzed from a speaker.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Light-kun. You yourself demanded not to be let out, despite whatever protestations you made."

Light was aghast. Had he really said that? Yes, yes he remembered saying it, and he knew there was a reason.

_What was the reason?_

He couldn't remember.

…

He had stopped wrestling with his mind for a while ago. He had been trying to remember his past.

Oh, he remembered his life, all his childhood years and all his birthdays. He remembered how monotonous and boring his existence was – how he longed for companionship and challenge.

But there was something missing, as if there were some parts of his life that he couldn't remember.

It was confusing, and Light was scared to find out why he couldn't remember anything.

But he hadn't thought about that for a long time now. He didn't think about anything anymore.

This fact alone betrayed how ruined Light really was. He was nearly convinced that he would spend the rest of his life in this damned cell, because he knew that L would never stop suspecting him.

So when a shadowy figure approached his prison he did not move, did not show any recognition that the person was there. But yet, through the fog of his clouded mind he felt a spark of something. _L…?_

He was crushingly disappointed to see that it was one of the members of the task force. Aizawa, Light recalled, was his name.

He longed for it to be L standing there looking at him. He was more alone than he had ever been, and he craved the intelligent conversations the two had sometimes shared. He needed to feel equal to someone again – he couldn't stand being dragged around anymore.

Aizawa approached his cage and entered a long code into an electronic panel. He then proceeded to run a finger and eye scan before finally a beeping sound was heard. He then entered yet another code into a different panel.

_L is certainly taking no chances_ Light thought dryly to himself.

Aizawa dragged Light to his feet, and the teenager tried to hide his discomfort. He was after all, moving muscles that had been immobile for over a month.

Light tried to look at Aizawa's face, but the officer pointedly looked away, leading Light through many corridors.

Eventually, they came to a garage that had only a single car. Light was incredulous – what on Earth was going on?

He did not try to speak to Aizawa. He could not help but dislike the man, for Light knew it was he whom had led him to that appalling cell in the first place.

Suddenly, Light was blinded by a fast approaching luminescence. He tried to shield his eyes, but was unable to do so. Then he heard a sound he had hoped not to have to hear for a long time to come.

"Light!" Misa practically screamed as she hauled herself out of the car and ran towards her love.

Light winced – the sound of her voice was almost unbearable after so many days of confinement. Still, this was the first time having human contact with anyone for a while, and he had to admit, he was somewhat relieved to find her relatively unharmed.

"Misa" he replied simply. "Father!" He exclaimed after looking over the excited model's shoulder.

"Father what is going on?" he asked.

His father did not reply, merely walking over to another car and opening the door.

"Get in" he said gruffly, sharing a look with Aizawa on his way past.

Light and Misa obliged, both getting into the back seat of the car. Light's father took off quickly and made his way through a tunnel.

Few words were spoken, but eventually the conversation revealed the true nature of this trip.

"Light, I am taking you to the execution chamber."

"Execution? What are you talking about? Father! What's going on?"

Light was so shocked that he was hardly making sense. His father shrugged off his son's desperate pleas, and blatantly ignored Misa's shrill yells of protest.

"I am taking you to the execution chamber. This is L's decision not mine. L has also said that he will pay with his own life it is proven that Light is not in fact Kira."

Light paled in shock. L was going to sacrifice his life? He had ordered that Light should be killed? What would that prove? Nothing! What was he thinking! Had he gone insane!

"L said that? Why would he be willing to give up his own life for this? This isn't like him, he always has hard evidence to support his theories. I can't let him throw away his life like this!" Light heard he desperation and disbelief in his voice. He could_ not _allow this to happen.

"We're here" his father said abruptly, pulling up under a bridge. The waning light of the sunset was unable to penetrate the darkness beneath the structure, and Light knew that no one would find them here, not for a long time.

He was confused. He was desperate. And he was terrified that both L and he would die for no reason whatsoever.

"Light, I am _not_ going to take you to the execution chamber." His father said unexpectedly.

Light's mouth popped open. _What? What is he saying…? _His relief was short lived however, as his father uttered words he had never expected to hear from his mouth. Such twisted, deranged words that Light hardly recognised him as a fatherly figure anymore.

"I am going to kill you here, and then myself."

Light could hardly believe his ears. What the hell was going on?

"What, what are you talking about father? If you kill is here then Kira wins! Is that what you want?"

"No." Light's father spoke with venom in his voice and a determination that would not be broken. Light was suddenly afraid of this man, his father for the first time – and what seemed would be the last time – of his life.

His father continued, "Either way you will be executed, at least this way it will be by my own hands."

He pulled out a gun and held it to Light's forehead.

"From one murderer to another Light, I'll see you in hell."

"**Father!" **Light yelled before shutting his eyes tightly. His final thought consumed him as his father pulled the trigger. _L!_

_As Light's father pulled the trigger, red eyes watched in fear. The frantic scribblings of a pen could be heard, but she was too late. The sound of the shot resonated through the air, and she uttered a low cry of anger as she saw Yagami Light fall back into the seat of the car._

_She was too late, and now Misa… No, she could not even think about it. She looked down at the name she had written, but it was all in vain now._

Light cowered against the seat, surprise and exultation running through him, burning his mind and body like a live wire. His eyes were wide with unbidden mortification.

Suddenly, pain coursed through him, pulsating from his forehead through his skull. It felt like someone was holding a match to his forehead, the unrelenting heat burning his skin leaving him writhing and alone in a seemingly endless realm of suffering.

It was partly shock too. Shock that he wasn't in fact dead. He almost wished he was, because _surely_ death wasn't as painful as this torture.

Light could not stop himself. He was beyond reasoning, beyond thinking. He screamed.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrghhh! Uuuhhhnn, uuurgh!" He screams of pain shocked him, what on Earth had happened?

Then it dawned on him. His father had used a blank. And because of the range of the gun, he had burned his head. No wonder it was so agonizing.

His father looked shocked, then relieved. "Thank god" he breathed. "Thank god."

His father explained to a shocked Light and Misa that this was all a test to ascertain if Light or Misa were Kira. Light was just beginning to master his pain when L's voice sounded from a concealed speaker from the front mirror of the car.

L praised the acting of Light's father, and explained his reasoning to the shocked teen.

"As for you Light, we will remain together constantly until Kira is apprehended. I will be watching you that whole time, and that is how it will remain until this case is closed." L's voice was as apathetic as always, but Light felt a small thrill at those words. But still, did no one notice that he had been burned? He supposed he would have to deal with it until they got back to headquarters.

Light's father turned around to look at his son, and Light looked back at him, now with more relief than discomfort. However…

Light's father's face contorted into an expression of pain. His features were twisted as he clutched at his faltering heart, trying to feel his life as it slipped away. He gave a mangled choke as he collapsed on the steering wheel and fell silent, no longer able to hear his son's cries.

"FATHER!" Light screamed. He desperately tried to touch his father, to feel him one last time.

Because Yagami Soichiro was dead, just like he had promised his son only seconds before.

Much as he tried, Light could not reach his father. He screamed in denial and desperation, thrashing around as he tried to get to his father. He hit his head on the chair is front of him and howled in pain, tears finally beginning to run down his face.

He couldn't reach him, couldn't hold his father. He has never lost control like this in his life.

He didn't notice when Misa slumped over in a dead faint, and he was only vaguely aware of L's voice issuing quick ordered to the members of the task force.

"Father, father, father, father" he whispered over and over again, as if saying it would bring the dead man back. He couldn't accept this, it couldn't be happening.

"Light-kun." Even L's voice was somewhat shaky as he spoke through the microphone. "Light-kun we are coming to collect you and Misa. We will be there shortly."

The connection broke, and Light realised he was all alone. Misa had hit her head when she had collapsed and was still unconscious. His father was dead, mere inches from his fingers, yet he could not touch him. He stopped struggling. He did not shed any fresh tears. He just tried to see his father's face one last time.

He could not even manage that.

Light screamed one last time.

L crouched in the car as Watari drove him to the site.

He could hardly believe it. Soichiro had actually died. However, it had been _after _he had staged the incident with the gun – why would Light leave it that long to kill him?

It didn't make sense.

Also, L had seen the look in the teenager's eyes. That had been no act – not even Yagami Light could fake those eyes.

As they approached the car, L could see Light staring at his father, horror obvious on his face.

He still did not know why he himself had come. This was potentially a very dangerous situation, but something about the genuine desperation of the teenager had compelled him to come. He wanted to comfort Light himself, to study his reactions in this kind of situation.

Watari stopped the car and L got out. Without waiting for his former guardian, he opened the door on Light's side and stopped.

Light turned around to look at L with unseeing eyes. Misery and grief had completely consumed him, and it made L feel sick.

Those were burning eyes. The kind of eyes L had never though he would see on Light.

Light noticed the door opening and turned away from his father to see L there.

He wanted L to comfort him. He wanted to be held and he wanted L to whisper to him that it would be alright. He needed to know that this pain would end, and he wanted L to be the one to save him.

So as he turned to L he whispered in a broken, lifeless voice.

"Save me."

**(A/N Wow, that was a scary chapter to write. Just thinking about how Light must of felt in the car… I wanted to make it really powerful, because that would be such a horrible situation to be in. I hope isn't to over the top – what do you think? I wanted Light to get his forehead burnt by the blank, because that really should have happened in the manga/anime. I mean, that gun was about an inch from his head. Let me know, where do you think this is going? Will L help Light? How can Light possibly overcome such a shocking loss? And when L realises he feels something more than comradeship with Light, how on Earth will he accept it?**

**Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Thanks very much for reading everyone!**

**xox**

**nazo no meikyuu)**


	3. Chapter 3: Hurt

Illogical, Irrational, Intrigue: A Death Note Fanfiction

**(A/N First of all, I want to apologise. Really. It has been a ridiculously long time since I updated this. HOLY CRAP, I JUST REALISED IT HAS BEEN A MONTH! I am SO sorry D: The truth is, I broke my USB, and lost the story because it wasn't backed up anywhere. Flame me, I deserve it. Also, as it has come to the end of the semester, I've had STUPID amounts of work to do – so I'm really sorry about that. But hey, can I get a WOOT for the third chapter? It's FINALLY here! ^_^**

**A HUGE thank you to the amazingly sexy awesome people who reviewed: **LanFear1, cherrymeldodie, ACreditToDementia, **and **InvaderNyoko. **You guys are pure win (: Again, thanks to all who subscribed to the story, etc. You know who you are. *pats on back***

**Sooooo, this chapter hasn't got much plot, but it explains more about how everyone is feeling. Light's lost his father, and L is left in a rather unfamiliar situation – how will he cope?)**

**Warnings: INCORRECT method for treating severe burns. Do NOT treat severe burns the way they are in the chapter. If you have severe burns, go to a HOSPITAL. Duh.**

Chapter 3: Hurt

As Watari drove L and Light back to the headquarters, L did not pretend that he wasn't watching Light.

In fact, his eyes never left the rigid teenager's face the entire journey.

L was watching him, observing his every action, calculating the deeper meaning behind the seemingly infallible mask that Light had put up. Oh, yes. Light had hidden himself from L, behind what L had determined to be a façade of calm.

But it was this mask that betrayed him, for how could he be calm? He had just watched his father die in front of him, and had received severe burns to his forehead.

He would be in pain. Physical and emotional turmoil.

Yet he sat there, not making a sound, looking out of the window as the scenery rolled by in the gloomy light of dusk. L could see the setting sun reflected in his eyes. His blank eyes.

For once, L was unsure of how to proceed. In reality, he hadn't really expected that Soichiro would actually die – Light was far too intelligent to make such a mistake. L was quite sure that this meant Light wasn't responsible for his father's death – at least, he wasn't directly responsible.

However, Amane would have made such a mistake.

The sleek black vehicle rolled into one of the spacious garages of headquarters. Only now did Light avert his eyes from the window, and take in his surroundings.

The three of them removed themselves from the car, all rather stiff. Watari, in his old age, was not as fit as he used to be. L, having sat in his unusual crouch, was not in an ideal position to move his limbs. Light, well, under normal circumstances he would have had no problem. L could tell that he had been affected by the events of the last hour, even if his eyes didn't show it.

Watari escorted the two geniuses back into the main working area of the headquarters, where Aizawa and Matsuda were already waiting.

"Ryuuzaki!" Matsuda's horrified voice broke the silence. "What happened? What is going on – oh, Light-kun, your head!"

Light had pushed the pain emanating from his forehead to the back of his mind, but upon Matsuda's mention of it, the burning sting resurfaced, biting and snarling for attention. Light made an almost imperceptible grimace, and L seemed to be the only one who noticed it.

L's steady voice rung through the room, "Matsuda-san, please calm down." The task force had reverted to calling each other by the true names after the initial incident of the second Kira.

"Watari, could you please attend to Light's forehead?"

"Certainly."

"Thank you."

Light, having not yet spoken, allowed himself to be led by Watari into an adjoining room, where many shelves lined the walls. Watari retrieved a small bottle of ointment, and a square clear plastic patch. He also pulled down some adhesive medical tape.

"This could be considered a third-degree burn Light, considering its size, and location. You should consider yourself very lucky that it is not more severe than it is." Despite everything, Watari's grandfatherly tone was somewhat comforting.

It annoyed Light.

"You think I am _lucky_?" He asked, his last word coloured with the bitter tone of sarcasm. Without waiting for a reply, he averted his eyes, and Watari gently dabbed small amounts of lotion onto the pale burn.

As he worked, he continually talked at Light, explaining what the ointment did, recalling his previous medical experience, talking about the best ways to treat severe burns like this one.

Light did not listen. His thoughts were elsewhere, however he wasn't entirely sure where.

You could almost say he was floating, drifting about, his only tether to reality being the stabbing pain in his head. It took him some time to realise that he was thinking of L, and how carefully he had been watching him in the car. L didn't know, but Light had really been watching him the whole time.

Light gave a dry chuckle, and immediately regretted it when it sent a shockwave of pain through his skull.

Watching L watching him.

Those dark, dark eyes of his. Always, they looked at him, scrutinizing him. He liked the fact that he was always the object of L's attention, at least at a subconscious level.

He caught himself there. He did _not _want L to watch him. He wanted to be free.

Suddenly, Watari stood up, and Light realised that he was finished. He had done a professional job too.

They went back to the main room, when L suddenly appeared.

Light did not have enough time to register the long metallic object in L's hands, before a _click_ around his wrist sealed his fate. He looked down in mild surprise to see the thin band of the handcuff around his wrist, and the long chain connecting him to L.

He wasn't too shocked really. What else to expect from someone as cautious an unreasonable as the mighty L? He smirked again. Really, he did not mind being connected to L. He found himself _wanting _to lock wits with the detective, _wanting_ to converse with him, _wanting_ to be near him.

_The attraction was because of their intelligence_, he thought. It was the obvious conclusion to make.

"Is this really necessary, Ryuuzaki?" Despite that he always had, and always would think of the detective as 'L', he still referred to him out loud by his alias.

"Of course it is. I did not think that you would object to this, surely you understand that such measures are required? Unless you really are Kira, and you are trying to stall the investigation…"

The implication hung heavy in the air, and Light clenched his teeth in denial. What kind of a person _was _he, to try to take advantage of his situation to force a confession?

"I have told you before, _I am not Kira" _The words came out nearly as a hiss, and L looked very interested in his reaction.

Sighing, Light looked around to see that the other members of the taskforce had already left on various duties dictated by the detective himself.

"Light-kun." Aforementioned detective caught the auburn haired teen's attention.

"Light-kun, the hospital called whilst Watari was treating your wound. They have confirmed that your father has died of a heart attack."

_Aaah, so that's it then._ He appreciated that he had just said it. No lies or deception for once, just plain truth.

"We are headed to the hospital now, so you can see him. Your mother is already there." L's voice demanded a response, but Light was not willing to speak just yet. There was too much to process, and not enough time for words.

Watari, forever his dutiful self, asked his employer a question: "L, what is to become of Amane? Will you put her under the same surveillance as Light-kun?"

L did not hesitate to answer – evidently he had made up his mind long before now.

"No, Amane will be restrained again. Somehow, Yagami-san died of a heart attack in that vehicle, and it is almost certain that Kira is responsible. However, despite the fact that Light-kun is Kira, I do not think that it was he who killed him. Amane on the other hand, is very likely to have murdered him."

Light fixed L with a terrible glare – for him to bring up this false claim at such a time as this was ridiculous! But he simply couldn't keep it up, and reverted his gaze to anywhere apart from L.

L, of course, noticed this. _His body language certainly supports the theory that he is in shock, however Light-kun would not submit to such a tendency. No, this suggests something else – perhaps he really is just upset? However…_

L's thoughts were interrupted as Watari led Light to the elevator door, escorting L in the process. The three made their way to the garage and departed for the hospital, this time in a dark grey vehicle.

The trip was a short one, and they pulled up at the hospital in only a few minutes. L left the car, forcing Light to clamber over the seat to reach L's side. Light flashed L a look of annoyance, but in his usual nonchalant way, the detective pretended he did not notice.

L and Light approached the front desk, and the receptionist looked curious about the patch on Light's forehead.

Before she could inquire into the nature of the injury, L spoke up.

"We are looking for the room of Yagami Soichiro. We were told he passed away earlier this evening." His voice left no room for questions; he wanted to get out of the horribly public foyer.

"Oh yes, a very sad thing. A very sad thing indeed." The receptionist did look truly remorseful, but Light looked at her in such disgust that she gave the number of his father's room without delay.

_Who are _you _to call him a _thing? His contempt for human emotion was fast permeating his thoughts – he had always thought humanity to be a crude and vicious reality, and it still repulsed him at times.

Light turned abruptly and left for his father's room, tugging L behind him.

They arrived at the room, and Light stopped. L glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, but did not wait. He pushed the door open, and led Light inside.

Sachiko was already there, gazing at the face of her dead husband. She looked around and stood up with a gasp.

"Oh, Light, I'm so glad you're here!" Light could see her face was streaked from tears, and his heart clenched a little. Despite everything, he always had, and always would, love his family very much.

"As always, Ryuuga-kun, it is a pleasure to see you."

"You need not pretend for me, Yagami-san. Just pretend that I am not even here." L seated himself on one of the waiting chairs and gazed up at the ceiling. Sachiko looked puzzled, but turned back to her son.

"But what happened to your forehead? Are you alright?" When Light did not reply, she grew worried.

"Light, please, answer me!" Her pleas made Light look at her. He was very aware of the fact that L was watching his every move.

He steadied himself. He was not talking much, which was unusual for him. He knew that L would find some way turn his behavior into evidence of being Kira. And he was sick of those claims.

So he drew himself up, and played the part of Light Yagami, the perfect, top ranking student with flawless manners and perfect etiquette.

"Do not cry, mother. It would make father sad to see you like this. You know what he is like. And as for my head, I am fine. It was just a little accident." He flashed a small but winning smile at his mother, whose own features softened in response.

"Oh Light, whatever should I do?" She put her arms around him as he stood there stiffly, his face no longer hiding his discomfort.

Light looked at L over the bowed head of his mother, and watched him stare at the ceiling. Abruptly, L's head swung round, and Light found himself looking right into his eyes.

Perturbed, he shook his mother off and murmured so low that L could hardly hear him: "Be strong."

With that he turned, and left the room, pulling an unprepared L after him, nearly sending him sprawling from his perch. L turned to close the door and saw that Sachiko had returned to her husband's side, her tears falling on his face.

…

After they arrived back at headquarters, Watari left the two of them alone.

Light couldn't decide if he was happy or not with his situation. On one hand, he found himself almost wanting the other's company. However, it still hurt his pride to remember what he had said to the great detective only hours before when they had got him from the car. Such a pathetic display of vulnerability was simply humiliating, a fact that L was sure to use against him.

Never one for mindless conversation, L turned and purposefully slumped his way out of the room, to the elevator doors. He dragged Light with him into the elevator, and the teen was suddenly uncomfortably aware of the close proximity of which the two were standing.

This was not helped by the fact that L seemed determined to lean towards him, scrutinizing his face.

A bell pinged, and the doors slid open. After tearing his eyes away from Light's face, L led him to a door about halfway down the corridor.

"Light-kun, this will be where we, or should I say you, will sleep." His face was deadpan the whole time, but Light had to bite back a choke.

"You mean to say", his voice only slightly shaky, "that we will be sharing a room?"

"Very perceptive of you Light-kun. Yes that is exactly what I mean." L opened the door and pulled the annoyed Light inside.

"I will not watch you change or shower, however, we will be sharing the bed." L gestured carelessly to the huge white bed resting against the wall.

Light's eyes widened a little as he realised what L meant. Then again, the detective _had _told him that it would be 24 hour surveillance. Really, this wasn't dissimilar to his confinement in the cell. In fact, it was more convenient for L this way. Now he could monitor him at much closer quarters.

Light grimaced at the thought, and after checking to make sure L was looking elsewhere, he quickly changed out of his limp clothes and stepped under the soothing water of the shower.

He was quick, and changed into a loose pair of pants, and a long sleeved top. He was very relieved for that top. The mere thought of sleeping half naked next to the inquisitive detective was more than disturbing. In fact, it was something he hoped to avoid.

He sighed, resigned to his fate, and left the bathroom, hair only slightly damp.

Light nearly knocked L over in the process of getting to the bed, and was slightly embarrassed to realise that L had only been two meters away whilst he was showering.

This thought only made him even more conscious of his lack of privacy, and he grimaced before sliding under the covers and turning away.

He was very aware of L positioning himself next to Light on the bed, with his laptop and several folders of paper. He tried his best to put the detective out of his mind, and went to sleep, horrific memories of the day playing through his head

…

Several hours later, L shut the laptop off, and turned to look at the sleeping boy next to him.

Light had rolled over in his sleep, and his face was partially illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the window. In fact, the room was almost bright because of it, however Light slept on.

L was truly fascinated by the boy sleeping next to him.

He was such a mysterious figure, but L felt like he was getting closer to putting the last piece of the puzzle into place. What he was stuck on was how the teenager was handling the situation. He was overly calm on the outside – especially after his initial outburst – but L wasn't convinced that the same was true on the inside.

L sat there for hours more, staring at him. Finally, his eyes dropped shut of their own accord.

The last thing he saw was the irregular rising and falling of Light's chest, and the last thing he heard was the soft groan of L's name that left his rounded lips.

**(A/N O.o long chapter much? I apologise for the near constant switching between POV's. The chapter just didn't work from L's perspective only. Yeah, I know, not much plot, but let me know what you think guys! Things will pick up next chapter. **

**Guys, am I being too subtle? There's a load of little hints and differences of language in all the chapters so far, and I want to know: Have you noticed them? Have they made a difference? From my perspective they have, but I WAS the one who wrote it after all. Read the chapters again if you like, see if you recognize some of the hints.**

**I am also aware that there hasn't been a lot of dialogue. I hope to remedy that next chapter.**

**By the way, this update means that I can now beta stories! Woohoo! If you want your stories edited, let me know, and hopefully we can come to some sort of agreement. **

**So, it seems that Light likes to be the center of L's attention. What **_**could **_**this mean? ^^ Next chapter: Light is hurting, or is he? L needs to know the truth, and Light needs L to keep him sane. Just **_**who **_**killed Soichiro? **_**What**_** is happening to the apathetic L? Is he developing some unorthodox emotions and fixations towards his number one suspect? And when L is confronted with the possibility that he has feelings for Light, will he accept or reject them?**

**xox**

**nazonomeikyuu)**


	4. Chapter 4: Happy

Illogical, Irrational, Intrigue: A Death Note Fanfiction

**(A/N Woot! This is my favourite chapter so far in terms of plot, you'll definitely see why. Also, being the pervert that I am, I've spent too much time figuring out how these two are going to get together – and that's not for a while yet! Oh well, this chapter should sate your thirst for relationship an infinitesimal bit. **

**Thank you to **ZoeyDarsh, cherrymelodie **and **supersam4ever08 **for reviewing the third chapter. You seem to like it, so thank you very much for reading and reviewing. You are awesome :)**

**I've discovered how to put lines in, so now it's easy to tell whose POV it is. This chapter is pretty short by the way****. Next one's should be longer though.)**

**Warnings: Super minor use of language.  
><strong>

Chapter 4: Touch

Light stared at the flickering computer screen, his eyes aching from overuse.

He longed to discontinue his work, he longed for a break. But he refused himself such leisure's – he would not allow himself to rest until he had achieved his goal. And he _would_ achieve it.

One week had passed since his father's funeral, and Soichiro's death had not been mentioned in that time. Light was secretly grateful. He did not want to have to deal with the pity and well-wishes that always came hand in hand with events like this. It was humiliating, made even more so by the fact that he had been outwitted, and had allowed his father to be murdered by that bastard.

He would not let Kira get away with this. He _would _bring Kira to justice.

However, since his father's death, they had not managed to get any further with the Kira case. The maniacal killer was increasing his pace, and more people – both innocent and condemned – were dropping dead at an alarming rate.

Thinking of all the innocent people who had been murdered both confused and infuriated Light. Why was Kira suddenly targeting people who had done nothing wrong?

* * *

><p>L watched the teen out of the corner of his eye. He noted Light's wearied expression, and tired complexion. However he seemed angry about something, or perhaps he was frustrated? But at what?<p>

L was still trying to figure out how Light felt about the events of the past week. He still remembered Soichrio's funeral clearly – in particular, Light's behaviour.

_He watched with dark eyes as the auburn haired boy ascended the steps to speak to his father's loved ones, his posture perfect and his fists clenched._

He had been quiet the whole time, saying hardly anything, not even to his family. L could only deduce that he was neither prepared nor willing to talk about it, but he still felt that this was unlike him. Light was not a shy person, nor was he emotionally unstable – he was much too strong of will for that.

_He spoke to the audience, his velvety voice barren of emotion. His cold eyes swept over the people listening raptly to him, and eventually came to rest on the hunched figure of the raven haired detective. He was surprised L had come at all, but then again, he had risked exposing himself at the university, so why not at a funeral? Especially seeing as he wanted to keep an eye on him._

Light had seemed remorseful on the outside, and L believed that he was, but there was undoubtedly an undercurrent of some other, stronger emotion. L had tried again and again to pinpoint what he was feeling, but the boy had been too closed up lately for him to tell.

_Finally, he turned to see the unmoving body of his father, lying in the coffin, flowers surrounding his face. Light looked at his father, and murmured some final farewell. L was aware that it was a private moment between the two, but he was determined to find out what the teenager had said. Light took one last look at his father's peaceful face, turned, and forsook his family to sit next to the detective himself. L turned to look at him, but Light ignored him for the rest of the day._

L turned again to look at Light, who was now tapping out a sentence on his keyboard.

He needed to ascertain what Light was feeling. He felt the compulsive need to understand this boy, to unravel the mysterious enigma that was Yagami Light.

* * *

><p>Light, frustrated once again by his lack of progress, smashed his fist against the table. The members of the task force turned to look at him quizzically, but quickly turned away again. Light knew they were wary of him now – they treated him almost like a wild animal in captivity, lashing out at anyone who tried to feed him, unkempt and dangerous.<p>

After all, he could be the mass-murdered Kira.

Light was disgusted with how readily they believed what L said – even as grown men they needed dictators every step of the way.

He could see L watching him out of the corner of his big eyes, and fed up with the unwanted attention, he turned to confront him.

He took a surprised breath when he realised that the two were not even a meter apart. L closed this gap even further by turning, and leaning towards his suspect, watching his face intently.

Light drew himself together.

"What is it Ryuuzaki?"

L took his time to answer, letting the silence get heavier and heavier as Light's mind raced to figure out what L could possibly want from him.

_It's evident that it isn't something to do with the case, or else he would have told me by now. Perhaps he didn't want anything at all? Did I make an incorrect assumption?_ He paused, mind going into overdrive.

_No that's not possible, if he didn't want anything he would have said so by now. He definitely hopes to achieve _something, _the question is what._

"Light-kun is over thinking." L stated it as a fact, and it was true. Light abruptly stopped his fast-moving mind, and waited for L to state his purpose.

"I was merely thinking that you seem to be handling your current situation – in particularly emotionally – exceptionally well. A little _too _well in fact."

Light could hardly believe it – L was still fishing for an opportunity to condemn him. His anger rose, and he spoke in a quiet, carefully composed voice.

"Why would you say something like that?"

L blinked. That was _not _the reaction he had been thinking he'd get. Light continued:

"You think that _I _killed him. You think I killed my own father to gain your sympathy and clear my name of suspicion. You think that I am only _pretending _to feel remorse for his death, so as to gain your trust.

"You are despicable" Light nearly spat the word out. How _dare _he imply he did not care for his father's death? Why did he think he was still here?

"I do not think any of that Light-kun, I truly believe you are upset for your father. However, you are being awfully defensive for someone who claims they did not kill him.

For once, Light was speechless. _Why, that bastard. _L had lured him into yet another trap, getting a reaction out of him, _playing _with him.

Infuriated, Light turned back to his work. "I am not Kira."

L looked at him inquisitively before returning to his own computer, already processing this new information.

Suddenly, a thought struck Light.

L could not use their previous conversation to accuse him of being Kira.

His reaction was to be expected, it is normal to be upset when someone close to you dies. It was certainly not irregular to be infuriated if someone was to suggest you murdered your own father, even more so when they continue to press the point, twisting your very words against you, trying to force a confession out of you.

No, their interaction had absolutely no merit. It could not suggest the possibility that he was Kira. In fact…

Yet again, Light turned to look at the detective, who now had his thumb to his lips, and was gazing up at the ceiling.

_It was almost as if he was trying to prove that I'm _not _Kira…_

_...  
><em>

Time passed, and darkness crept through the windows of the workplace, enveloping the shadows with encompassing gloom.

L liked the dark. It was comforting to him.

He abruptly decided he did not want the men from the task force there for a moment longer.

"Thank you all for your hard work today, you may go."

Mogi, Aizawa and Matsuda gave him a strange look, but no-one said a word as they organised their belongings and made their way to the exit.

L turned to look at Light, whose eyes were drooping of their own accord. L spun his chair around to face the boy properly, and Light looked up at the movement.

They looked at each other, neither saying anything.

Suddenly, surprising even himself, L reached out to touch the burn on Light's forehead.

Said boy's eyes widened imperceptibly, and he flinched as L's thumb came into contact with his wound. He closed his eyes at the contact. It stung, but the detective's cool finger was surprisingly soothing.

L drew circles on Light's burn with the pad of his thumb, barely touching it. He was curious to see Light's reaction, but he did not seem to mind the contact. He noticed the slight creasing around his eyes, and realised that he must be causing him pain.

Unperturbed, he continued to draw circles, before finally removing his thumb.

L tipped his head to the side, gazing thoughtfully at Light. Unusually, he decided to take pity on him.

"Come Light-kun, you need rest."

Light gave him a confused look, but followed him up the stairs to their room.

Before L could open the door, however, Light grabbed his wrist.

The detective jerked away from the contact, but was unable to react before Light reached up to place his thumb on L's forehead.

As L had done only minutes before, Light now drew circle on the detective's head. His other fingers, having nowhere else to go, rested on his hair. L kept his eyes wide open, trained on Light's face, but made no move to stop him.

Eventually Light looked at L's eyes, and dropped his hand when he realised that he was staring at him. Without a word, he turned and slipped through the door.

L stayed outside, feeling slightly confused and something else that he just couldn't put his finger on.

Why had he done that? His normally apathetic self had just been completely disarmed by that simple touch – it was alarming. Perhaps it was because it had been a while since he had had actual physical contact? No, it had never had such an effect on him before.

Was it because of Light then? Was he simply trying to figure out his motives? They could be the same as his own were – gauging his reaction.

Abruptly, an impatient Light tugged L through the door.

As he did so, L recognised the other, foreign emotion he was feeling.

Happiness.

**( A/N Naaw, L is so cute. I don't really know what was up with the whole touching forehead thing – I guess I just can't see them getting together without a heap of lead up.**

**Anyway, let me know what you think guys? Do you like Light having a burn? Do you like the lead up? **

**So, L enjoyed it when Light touched him ^_^ Did Light enjoy it though? Will they ever get a break through on the Kira case?**

**Press that little button right below, and let me know :D**

**xox**

**nazo no meikyuu)**


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